It came in an instant, if Tom were here, where would he "be" in this new life I am forging. It was a fleeting thought with a swift impact - instant guilt.
I am healing - but it is so hard to relinguish the essence of YOU - your laugh - your tall body - dancing in the kitchen, being on this earth together = unconditional love. And all the icky parts too - it is so easy to make the person who dies into a "saint" - you were not a saint - me neither - but you sure were my totally human husband,mate, brother - friend.
Before Tom's spirit passed - Heather - wise beyond her years - ICU Nurse, walked me in the hall - one of the things she said, "Tom did not come into your life to leave you a broken, empty shell - he came into your life to enrich it."
That he did -
It is still more a feeling than a thought to be written. Om Shanti.
All I can say is you were blessed to have Tom...and he, you. You deserve to continue your journey to a happy life filled with laughter and love...with Tom up above guiding you as you go along. -Joy
ReplyDelete"It is more a feeling than a thought to be written."
ReplyDeleteWhat a profound observation. The infinity of your emotions will never be truly be captured in words---no matter how beautifully you try!
I love your posts. The heart/stroke scare is familiar. I've had several that have never been explained. But as long as my blood pressure stays low and I do the best I can to stay peaceful and healthy I imagine I'll be here just about as long as I'm supposed to be.
Oh, and no matter what Suzan, you could never, ever be an empty shell.
lucyd
Keep up the good work
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