It came in an instant, if Tom were here, where would he "be" in this new life I am forging. It was a fleeting thought with a swift impact - instant guilt.
I am healing - but it is so hard to relinguish the essence of YOU - your laugh - your tall body - dancing in the kitchen, being on this earth together = unconditional love. And all the icky parts too - it is so easy to make the person who dies into a "saint" - you were not a saint - me neither - but you sure were my totally human husband,mate, brother - friend.
Before Tom's spirit passed - Heather - wise beyond her years - ICU Nurse, walked me in the hall - one of the things she said, "Tom did not come into your life to leave you a broken, empty shell - he came into your life to enrich it."
That he did -
It is still more a feeling than a thought to be written. Om Shanti.