Happy Mother's Day

Mommy, I send my love and kisses across the miles on Mother's Day. I send my two beautiful daughters-in-law the deepest love and respect. How fortunate I am that you are the mothers of our beloved grandchildren, the wives of our sons and daughters of my heart.

To all my friends and loved ones - Happy Mothers' Day - the most joyful, stressful, difficult, rewarding role - Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mother -- what a privilege.

Love across the miles to each of you.

Life Transitions

I see a new path emerging before me - it is just ahead and yet still out of focus. Since January, I have been working on being in the moment in my meditations, bodywork and other spiritual practices. In the moment, in the moment - and then this siren song of something just ahead.

Things are different after one turns 60 - at least it is for me. I want more time. I want to spend a month in California with my mother. I want to see my grandchildren more often. I want to spend a month in Seattle. I want to get up in the morning and have coffee on the deck. I want to spend more time with my art, my writing and creative pursuits. I want time. This does not mean I want to stop working all together. It does mean that I want to stop working full-time - at least for a stretch of time. A sabbatical.

I have all my classes/retreats scheduled at the Center for Loss and Life Transition. If all goes as planned, I will earn my Grief Counseling Certification in June 2009, opening new doors and new professional pursuits. I want time in the mix of these changes and new experiences. I must remind myself to take a step at a time - a moment at a time - a breath at a time.

May Day

Good Morning - just a brief check-in before leaving to facilitate a meeting in Minneapolis. My best friend left Monday afternoon - we had a memorable time. Since she departed, I have been busy catching up at work. Hope everyone is doing well - more to come.

A Busy Spring Weekend

YES - that's right - spring is springing here in Minnesota. I worked in the yard most of the day today - cleaning out flower beds, bagging old leaves and mulch, sweeping, raking and PLANTING PANSIES!! Pots and pots of pansies. So far there little peeps of chives and other early green things poking from the soil - no tulips or daffodils yet - but green and sunny and warm. Finally.

My best friend J is arriving on Tuesday night - oh happy day. We are going to have a wonderful time. Next Wednesday is the two year anniversary of my quitting smoking - TWO YEARS, can you believe it!! We have big plans - manicures, pedicures, walks, lunches, and a fabulous girls' brunch and spa day at my house next Saturday - eight or nine of us getting together to eat, laugh, drink mimosas, and just catch up. Deb will arrive in the afternoon and set up the massage table downstairs - people can take their turn throughout the afternoon as they choose.

I will be off work Wednesday through Monday when J departs for her home in Jacksonville. Oh fun - oh how I need this time to be with the sister of heart. Many interesting and fun things ahead.

Happy Sunday

Spring in Minnesota this year, let's see. In the last five days we have had rain, sleet, ice storm, snivel, thunder, lightening, snow, high winds and more snow. Today the sun made an appearance and it was nearly 50* - ah, spring is right around here somewhere.

I have had a lovely weekend. I did lots of little chores that needed doing, talked to several friends on the phone, had my friend S over for a little wine and appetizer/girl talk after work on Friday night. Today has been quiet and lovely - reading, doing a little work, paying my bills, walking outside in my yard, working out with my weights and exercise ball. Very nice.

Back on the planet - so happy that you are all in my life - thanks for your warm thoughts and care across the miles. My blogger buddies - so precious.

Just a Little Time

I have been in a bit of funk - processing some grief and life transition stuff. There is much ahead - wanted you all to know that I am around and will post again soon.

A Living Legacy

Here are a few of the photos I took of the beautiful retreat center in the woods, where I trained last week. It is more than 5,000 feet in the foothills above Fort Collins. Serene and timeless - extremely conducive to learning and growing into the future.

The training was amazing - it was titled, Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training and comprehensive it was. The creator of this model of "companioning the bereaved" is Dr. Alan Wolfelt, an amazing teacher. Alan and his staff, Kathy and Kerri, welcome each person with open hearted goodness and unending hospitality.

The week of training is the first of five week-long sessions that I plan to attend over the next 12 to 15 months. At the end of five sessions, participants earn a certificate in grief counseling from Colorado State University. I am inspired to do this - it feels as though all I have done in my professional life has led me to this place. I can see the future - this is the legacy of my grief journey.

The majority of participants were social workers, registered nurses, therapists, hospice workers and other professionals already working in the field. One of the important parts of the learning is Alan models the companioning method constantly throughout the training. We all talked about our various losses and our individual grief journeys. It was very emotional at times. I made many new friends last week - people that I will stay connected to and perhaps even see at subsequent trainings.

As I look to the future - I see a new path. Amazing.

I also have been struggling since my return. Missing my darling once again - I suppose it stems from talking about him so much during the retreat. Yet, here I am turning into the wind. The next steps beckon - I have much on my heart and I am excited about a new direction. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps to a new future. Namaste.

Quick Check-In

This retreat truly is a retreat. I have been off my cell phone and computer all week, which has been a curious and welcome respite. I am just taking a minute this morning to drop by and say I am thinking of you all. BTW, the retreat and the learning has exceeded all expectations. I will have time over the weekend to catch up with everyone and share my pictures and experiences. Take care.

On My Way to Colorado

My destination tomorrow, Fort Collins, Colorado. I am going to a week-long training at the Center for Loss and Life Transition. It is in a beautiful retreat center just outside Fort Collins - more than 5,000 feet in the mountains. I am taking the first in a series of trainings, this section is "Beginning Bereavement Skills." If I like it, there are other week-long seminars that can lead to a certificate in grief counseling.

I have been looking forward to this week since December when I enrolled. The model the Center for Loss uses is called, "companioning" - it is both for grief and hospice workers. The approach appears to match my core values in so many areas. It is the next step on my journey.

I hope you all have a blessed holiday - Easter, the time of rebirth and renewal. I will be taking pictures and posting while away. I will be back in Minnesota next Friday night.

PS I had a wonderful time in Seattle and will be sharing some of unfoldings in future posts.

Spring in Seattle

The entire rim of the Pike Place Market roof was ringed with daffodils. The first spring peas were in the market - we lightly steamed them to accompany an herb rubbed boneless lamb roast.

Spring in Seattle - tiny white flowers on the shrub outside the back door - so nice to be with my friend.

On My Way Home

What a lovely visit. I have taken a bunch of pictures but have not even downloaded them. I will post some photos after I return. The weather has been beautiful - no rain and over 50 degrees every day. We went to the Pike Place Market, walked along Lake Washington, cooked scrumptious meals, had nice wine to complement the food, watched movies, cuddled and had great time. Spring is definitely breaking out here in Seattle. I needed this break.

I will be back in Minnesota very late tonight. More to come.

So many things

Good Morning - my training this weekend was terrific. An eight hour training day on Saturday felt like it was an hour long - even with good breaks and an hour for lunch. It was amazing to be with a group of 40+ people and be able to talk about the sacred - to talk about the Circle in the spiritual as well as the practical sense.

One thing I learned is circle practice is an ever-expanding area in which to learn and grow - in other words, I will be a life-long student of the Circle. Now I want to go to Whidbey Island to take the five day Circle Practicum - one of these days. One thing I know for sure, the circle practice has a role to play in the emerging grief project - the passion of my heart and soul.

I am leaving town today - I finally have given up. This winter has been a long and cold affair. I am going to Seattle for a visit until next Monday night. It is supposed to rain while I am there but it is in the mid to high 50's. Sounds downright tropical.

It was 4* above zero this morning in my backyard and the forecast for tonight is 5* below zero.

Seattle here I come.

The Weekend

I am very excited. Saturday and Sunday, I am taking Christina Baldwin's Circle Training. I have wanted to take this training for the last few years - now is the time! The training is how to call the circle or call/convene a council of people and hold sacred space to accomplish a specific task, supporting each other in the process.

You can learn more here, which is Christina's website, Peer Spirit. Christina and her partner, Ann Linnea are the trainers for this weekend. It is at the Clouds in Water Zen Center, which is 2 miles from my house.

This is a marvelous opportunity to learn a new skill and to add to my participatory practices - I know it will be a wonderful spirit-filled weekend. I hope you have a wonderful weekend too.

Tuesday Morning

It has been an entire week since I have posted - indicative of the times I guess. Last weekend was full of errands, cleaning, reading and spending a rare day at the Mall of America with a my sister-friend and neighbor V, doing girlfriend things.

This week so far has been work-busy. Doing inspiring work with very interesting and very diverse clients. My energy level is high - I am sleeping really well, better than at any time since Tom died.

Yesterday, I successfully completed a new facilitation project that was rife with conflict, unresolved issues and negative group dynamics - really the first time I have stepped out to do such a complex facilitation alone since I was widowed.

Widowhood steals so many things - self confidence is one of them. Those who have been widowed know this oh so well.

Slowly, rebuilding brick by stone by day by night by moment by hour by days by years. We do heal - we do begin to live a transformed life.

Still Here in the Cold

Just wanted to check in and say yes, I am still here and yes, it is still very cold. This winter has made me begin to think about something I never thought I would do - move from Minnesota. Yesterday, I worked in my home office and at one point, I was looking at real estate in other parts of the country. Oh well, a girl can dream. I doubt I will be moving anytime soon - my work, so many friends and loved ones, my home, all are here.

One never knows, for now I am just trying to be present to each moment.