Sunday, November 30, 2008

Time to Relax and Enjoy

I am taking nearly one week off from work and it is glorious. My friend V is here and we have been having a very nice time together. Thursday, I cooked a wonderful small dinner for just the two of us. Friday, my dear friend Lisa came for dinner and we laughed, talked, ate and enjoyed ourselves immensely.

Exercise is important to both of us and nearly everyday we have done a good joint workout - cardio and pilates.
It snowed overnight and we awoke to a beautiful world of a quiet, white landscape. Deb is here doing a massage for V right now and I am going to roast a lovely boneless prime rib and open a terrific bottle of Cabernet for dinner. Just some quiet time of talk, laughter, watching movies, reading and relaxing.

I have decided to go to Seattle in December. We are closing the office between Christmas and New Years Day - it is the perfect opportunity to visit. I am flying on December 25 and returning around the New Year. A friend will stay with Miss Kitty and enjoy the house while I am gone.

My mother is mending but slowly. She has a life line button now - the thing you wear around your neck and can push if you need help. That is good. The doctor really wants her to go to in-patient rehab for a couple of weeks but she refuses. We do have a social worker now and that is a comfort. He and I talk frequently and he now visits a couple of times a week.

Mother is certainly not incompetent but she is not displaying good judgment in many of her recent decisions. While I was in California, she began to talk about selling the house - we even met with the realtor. She began to tell her friends and others that it was time to move somewhere that was more accessible given her eyesight and the isolation of Yountville. Now she tells the social worker - she only said all that to make me not talk about the future. These are her adult decisions - she has fallen many times, the next time could be even more devastating. I have stepped back again - I call everyday - I give my perspectives, when asked. I have stepped away from the drama.

I hope you are enjoying your holiday weekend. More later.


  1. Thank you for your comments on my blog and I'm so glad you had what sounds to have been a lovely Thanksgiving with good friends. I live in Seattle, hope you have a lovely visit.

  2. i understand your need to step away from the drama. my sister and i have had to do the same. it is so hard, however, and my difficult father (much too nice phrasing) complicates ours even more. it is complex, this elder care business.

    hope you have a fabulous holiday visit in seattle! we usually travel at christmas, too, sometimes to CA. a pineapple express can certainly bring surprises during the holiday season anywhere on this coast! if we are in town we would love to meet you guys. i will email you if we are around.

  3. Enjoy this time off certainly deserve every minute of it sweetie. Hugs.....

  4. Perhaps if parents are known to have given serious consideration to the risks they are taking by remaining living independently, and have chosen to do so, adult children need to respect those wishes. I know all these decisions are informed by many complex factors. Sounds like you are Handling this as best you can. Glad you can have the counsel of others.

  5. Suzann,
    I know you need this time off.
    My wish is: Relaxe. Relaxe. Relaxe.

    For once, you need to think of your self and your own best:
    i.e. The combination of a meaningful work and a reasonable income and a private life as you want it to be from now on.
    I remember you talked to me about your wishes and dreams.

    I know about Mothers. It took some years before my Mother (she is now 89) realized facts. In the years before, it was not an easy task, to say it mildly.

    Wish you the very best with V in Seattle during X-Mas. Hope you can really relaxe and feel new and fresh. And enjoy life.

    btw. We will stay in Oslo during X-mas and New Year.Famlily and friends.
    Our next journey seems to be to Menton in Southern France (Friends) in February and the next: Blogger meeting in the Toulon area of Southern France.
    (You still want to join? Just tell me)
    With other words:
    It seems to be a "French Year" in 2009.

    hugs and love
    across the pond and miles between