Naming IT

Nine days of being a nonsmoker and I am feeling good. Oh yeah, there are some really annoying and irritating body/mind things going at times - that is the price I must pay to free myself.

Weird how we fool ourselves - the cigarette pack says, "smoking can be hazardous to your health." "I know that," we say dismissively as we light another cancer stick. I have come to the deep understanding that smoking is nicotine addiction and I am in the process of ending that addiction and reclaiming my life. "Smoking may be hazardous to your health" is one of those masterpieces of understatement.

When Tom died, I had quit smoking and took it up again because of the "stress". Well, now I know in the deepest parts of me that smoking doesn't mitigate stress, it causes more of it.

A cigarette is an inanimate object - a little tube of white paper with some dried weeds (and lots of poisonous chemicals) wrapped inside. The addictive drug nicotine is the reason we crave more and more cigarettes - it drives us to repeatedly inhale carbon monoxide into our lungs. When was the last time anyone had a burning desire to go into the garage and put their lips around the exhaust pipe? Acknowledging addiction changes everything - getting out of denial and living here in the real world - I will not smoke again, ever, no matter what happens.

My mantra - a cigarette doesn't solve any problem or stressful situation. I feel so fortunate to be here this morning and to be able to take this healing journey. Quitting is another step on the journey to a new life.