Sunday, May 07, 2006

Round and Round It Goes

For some reason I have been having serial sadness today. I was out running errands and everywhere I looked - my memories strangled me - that hasn't happened for awhile now. It was very disconcerting. It will be eighteen months next Sunday - seems like years - seems like a dream. It is very real - the profound journey of loss, pain, turmoil, transformation and healing.

I am healing. I am making meaning of the journey - quitting smoking is a part of that meaning - I am different and yet the same. I am stronger yet more fragile. I am harder yet more resilient. I am more open yet have more clearly defined boundaries. I have the courage to reach out for help when I need it - and I have the deep need to support others in their life's journey. Even with today's tears, I see a world of joy and possibilities.

I remain a work in progress -


  1. You know, grief does come in waves, doesn't it? I've been divorced for 22 years (married 27) and every now and then something will happen and it all comes rushing back--mostly the good these days. And still not smoking. I am SO proud of you.

  2. We all have days like that..even after 3 years they still hit me but I have found that you just have to go with it..let the tears need it...It will get easier (most of the time) and you are lucky because you can come here and tell us all about it....and we understand...

    WTG on the not smoking...

  3. Where did you find it? Interesting read » »