This week is my friend Susan's three year anniversary of her Tom's passing. Such hard times, no matter how long we have been without our loved ones. I made a card for Susan this morning and have been thinking of her all weekend. There is a deep understanding between those of us who have been forced to take the grief journey.
Yes, healing is to be found along the way - yes, we have our memories to comfort and uplift us. The fact remains, we are here and they are gone.
This morning, I had to do my least favorite thing on the planet. I had to copy Tom's death certificate to take to the bank. It is just an ordinary piece of paper - 81/2 x 11 - but oh my god, it rips at my heart everytime I have to touch it. Why? It's not like I don't know - deep in my soul and my gut - that Tom is gone from the earth.
Widows and widowers are connected - we know about the transitory nature of life, we understand the depths of insanity and pain that are the companions on the journey one never asked to take. For those of us who have passed the first year mark, we know that one year is just a sign post on the journey - there is more ahead.
The grief journey is excrutiating - it also is transformative. My heart flies out to Susan - making meaning this week of another anniversary of loss. Namaste.
I would like to add something...
ReplyDeleteThose of us who have loved and lost through death are given a gift to compensate for the pain. If we pay attention and work through all of the negative feelings we eventually see the beauty of the love that was in our lives. We realize that we are one of the few who can say "I was here and I found happiness in this world that is so often filled with hatred and anger. And although I can no longer see it I will always feel it."