This weekend I went through the very last drawer of Tom's - it was the top right-hand drawer where he kept his treasures and keepsakes. It is the drawer where I added his jewelry box, change caddy, cuff link holder and other such "top of the dresser" items when he died.
It was its own journey - through his life, through our life, through joy, through loss, through love.
What did I find? A school picture in a frame of Tom in the third grade - still the same smile. The velvet box that held his wedding ring - how he loved that ring, it was a circa 1880's antique, made of rose gold. There were pictures of our grandchildren; gold collar pins in special little boxes; his airforce identification card from 1961; the appraisal from the three-stone ring he gave me for Valentine's Day in 2004 - quite the surprise.
So many things both large and small. The essence of Tom. How careful he was with all his things. How he treasured cards and little momentos that Olivia, our eldest grandchild, made and sent to the grandpa she adored.
One day we are here - the next, we are not. What do material things mean? That has made an indelible mark upon me - things are stuff - pretty meaningless.
Holding those treasures in my hands brought what has meaning for me - love, memories, spirit, connectedness, family, friends, the great mystery, the Now.
My jewelry is now in the drawer - the dresser is neat and organized - just the way Tom liked it, me too.
Sigh ... 3-1/2 years and 1 cross-country move later, that top left drawer is still Nick's.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you, my friend.
It is good you are doing that. Healing, releasing. We actually never own anything but we forget that and make things what matter.
ReplyDelete:) long, good journey.
ReplyDeleteI'm using the drawers in my husband's dresser now too Suzann. But I havent' been able to really move some things from the top drawer of his desk. That too shall come. His office still feels like 'his office.'
ReplyDeleteLovely post, Suzann....It's those preciouys things that keep the memories clear and that touch the heart because of their meaning. Yes, they are just things. But things that hold sweet memories.
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