This blog is 31 months old. When I began to write here, it was without a thought that anyone else would ever read here. I was broken - the blog was a place to unload my heart so I didn't discorporate.
At that point, the tag line on my blog was, "when you're going through hell - keep going." Approximately one year ago, I changed it to, "walking through grief and loss one step at a time."
This morning, I changed it again. Please notice, I have not "reclaimed my life", that life - with all its hopes and dreams - is gone, it died with Tom. It takes a very long time to come to terms with that fact.
Until the day I die, I will have a profound sorrow for the loss of my mate AND the life we shared and dreamed together. However, that life and its aspirations cannot be acted upon. It is the past.
Today, I say very clearly and joyfully - I claim my life - Right here today, tomorrow and for the future.
I love it! I can only say that I am proud...and happy for you my dear friend. You have come a long, wonderful way. Congratulations Suzann...you beautiful soul....
ReplyDeleteit is good to have a journal of your life. you can track your progress, see where you were and are. you can use it as a reference to recall something precisely with a date you might need. and you can also review it to figure out how many pats on your back you deserve. i say kudos, suzann, for the work you have done. it is a process and does not come easily. we work for our growth...explore and open ourselves to the pain which we must dislodge in some way to allow new life inside. i am so happy to see the transitions you have made during the time i have been reading. your life is such an example of hope and rebirth. thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteDear you,
ReplyDeleteI'm not at all capable to understand your loss.
But, if I can give you a tiny inspiration to stay alive and also telling you that you means something to family, friends and in the blogger world. Well then, blogging is an important way to regain "force de vivre".
You know, I read your blog as often that I can. And I can see your progress - to still keep you functioning
Very honest and inspirational blog...first time viewer here...I will be back..
ReplyDeleteThere is so much in your changing tag lines; life evolving, changing. Grief is such a rocky time and I know it comes and goes, sometimes jumping up to bite you when you think the worst is over. I like that you are not reclaiming "that" life, but the one now and the one that is unfolding.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the temps you describe, but then I was born in So Cal. It is in the 40s and I'm chilled to the bone. Watching the Green Bay/New York game yesterday was painfull in more ways than one.
Like your redesigned office. Working on my own.