When I wrote that Intention it was about being nicer to myself. It was about treating myself with the same kindness and support that I offer to others. It turns out, it was about those things and more than I could have imagined. In the beginning of the fifth month of this year here are some of the things I am learning and putting into practice as a result of this intention.
I am learning to silence THE VOICE. You know the voice - the one we all have inside. The Voice that is always ready with a critical word or a judgment. The Voice that revels in living in yesterday or tomorrow. The Voice that blocks living in the present. The present moment - the only one we have.
Treating myself with dignity and respect - consciously, deliberately and consistently is transforming. This is not magic transformation - this is baby steps, baby steps, baby steps - the changes that stick.
Here is an example: I gained some weight over the winter. That's not unusual. When that happens, I am really, really good at losing it - once I put my mind into it and do it - it gets done. (I am also good at using food to soothe myself when I am upset, bored, frustrated, sad - which of course causes a cycle of gain/lose the same pounds over and over) I do NOT want to continue that behavior and that cycle. This time, I do not want to go on a diet. It is a losing proposition in more ways than weight. It keeps the cycle going. Gain a few, lose them, gain a few again, lose them - you know what I mean! I am done!!!
I am practicing living in the moment - making good food choices, staying active, continuing to build more muscle mass and finally getting it straight to stop the yo-yo right here, right now. Living in the moment; being kind to myself; making conscious choices, forgiving myself when I make the inevitable mistake. Loving and cherishing myself and my life whatever the scale says - it is clear that the VOICE keeps me locked in that cycle and that thinking.
I am learning that self-compassion is also about accountability - no excuses - it is the VOICE that keeps me trapped in old habits. This exploration of eating and weight is only one small area in this new approach to living my life. Self-compassion is about balance and acceptance not just words but the daily actions and conscious choices that that make up one's life. This an exciting time of practice, patience, active learning, growing, gratitude, forgiveness, and transformation. There is much more to come on this topic. How does your VOICE hold you back? How have you learned to listen to your authentic self not the VOICE?
We are always getting ready to live, but never living.- Ralph Waldo Emerson