Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Attitude of Gratitude
I have been solitary this past four days. Yesterday, I read the journal I kept every day for the first six months after Tom died. It is scary, the pain leaps from the page and sears the skin off my face. It is only the second time I have read it - the first being last year on November 14th.
So much pain, so much loss and then so much gratitude. Gratitude for having Tom. Gratitude for unconditional love. Gratitude for memories to last my lifetime. Gratitude for children and grandchildren. Gratitude for friends. Gratitude for the angels that cared for Tom and I during those dark days and nights from November 11 through the 14th. The nurses of Woodwinds ICU are an amazing group of women. I will never forget their kindness, their care and their love.
Tom died with dignity and respect. In the last 24 hours of his life, it was less a medical intervention than a solemn farewell - hours sitting in the dark holding his hand. Hours spent lying in bed talking with him in the middle of the night. Friends and family coming to spend time with him. The music he loved, softly playing on CD.
And always - the nurses, there to provide the steady, loving presence to the very end. I am grateful today for each of them. I am grateful today for the angels in my life who continue to hold me as I build a new life, including so many of my blog sisters. I am grateful that I know love in so many forms. In the end of the day, love is all that matters.