So here I am today - driving and crying in the car. Grief - the gift that keeps on giving.
There are those moments when I miss my old life. I howl - turn back the clock - driving with tears running down my face.
Yes, I have forged a new life from loss - yes, I am externally focused and looking toward the future - instead of internally focused and longing for the past - but damn, I miss my husband. I miss unconditional love. I miss being with someone who loves me for my heart and spirit and being.
Just like before - it is the smallest things that one misses - holding hands, cooking early morning oatmeal for two, watching a sunset, sitting in silence - being together. So, just when you are moving along quite nicely - BAM, there you are crying in the car.
A comfort is that Tom did not live to see the mess that our country finds itself in - what chaos - what greed hath wrought.
So, here I am living in the moment.