A New Week Ahead

Those of you who visit here may know that I love the Daily OM - in fact, I receive an email from daily om each morning. Today's email resonates with me and so I share it as I begin a new week.

Heart-Centered Generosity
Cancer Daily Horoscope

You could feel a great amount of warm-heartedness when welcoming others into either your home or your life today. This desire to be toward other people may be due to your recognition that it is through kindness that you can truly connect with those around you. If you can imagine today that as you allow people into your physical space you are also allowing them into your emotional space you may notice that it becomes easier to really greet others with open arms. Maybe you could try thinking of your heart as having a door to a part of yourself that is full of unconditional love and that with each person you encounter today, your heart-door opens, bathing them with the limitless love you have within you. Bathing your hospitality in this love might make it easier to give of yourself fully to others.

When our giving comes from our heart, it is complete and pure. Welcoming other people into our homes is often an act of opening ourselves up to them – making ourselves somewhat vulnerable in the process. Letting our hearts work for us, however, allows us to give without thoughts about what will happen when we let others in – it also takes the focus off how we express our generosity, and instead helps us to concentrate on those we have invited into our lives. By opening your heart, you will give the people you bring into your life the best that you have to offer today.

I FOUND IT!

Just don't ask where the camera appeared because of course it was hidden in plain sight. There are new photos in this blog's immediate future. I am off to the Farmer's Market, the personal trainer and errands. Happy Saturday! More Later..........

Standing in the Here and Now

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that I have integrated my grief and mourning into the fabric of the life I am living today. I am more externally focused and looking into the future after such a long time of being internally focused and longing for the past.

It is with great joy that I make this post standing firmly in the here and now.

There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.
Pearl S. Buck

Transitions

Farewell Summer.

It has been such a busy few months that I have not taken much of a break at all. As wonderful as a little vacation would be - I am deeply grateful to be busy with good work - especially in this chaotic economic time. Many people are suffering. Our company is maintaining old relationships and starting new clients - blessed be.

While summer is still here in force (it was over 80* yesterday)the signs of season's change are everywhere. I love Autumn. Bittersweet - memories assail me. Anticipation - winter beckons on the other side of dry leaves and wood smoke. Here I stand in this moment - filled with gratitude.

Happy, Happy 3 X 20

Today is Anna's 60th birthday or as Tor (that erstwhile Norwegian blog brother) is saying, "her 3 X 20." A big party is going on in Norway today to celebrate this most wonderful and important day for lovely Anna. Although I have only talked by phone once with Anna, I feel as though I know her. One of these days we will meet in person -either here in the US or in Viking Land.

Anna loves cats and hence the photo. I send my best wishes across the miles between us. May all your dreams come true this year. Happy Birthday Anna and welcome, the decade of the 60's is very different and very wonderful. Love and Hugs.

Has Anyone Seen My Camera?????

Boooooo - I cannot find my Canon digital camera. It is just not around! I guess I need to make a BIG search for it this weekend. This is what happens when you get too busy. Ratz, I love that little camera. It is here somewhere.......now, let's see, where did I put that camera????

Today I bought a wonderful book that I learned about from Fran yesterday over at Sacred Ordinary - stop by for a visit and read the post for yourself. Fran is one of my favorite bloggers.

I went to Common Good Books to purchase,"To Bless the Space Between Us" by John O'Donohue, who is one of my favorite authors. The book itself is a blessing. Now, I am going to go light a candle, make a cup of tea and read for awhile.

Thank you for your support and your kind words - I am blessed to have each of you with me in my heart and spirit.

and it comes again when you least expect it

So here I am today - driving and crying in the car. Grief - the gift that keeps on giving.

There are those moments when I miss my old life. I howl - turn back the clock - driving with tears running down my face.

Yes, I have forged a new life from loss - yes, I am externally focused and looking toward the future - instead of internally focused and longing for the past - but damn, I miss my husband. I miss unconditional love. I miss being with someone who loves me for my heart and spirit and being.

Just like before - it is the smallest things that one misses - holding hands, cooking early morning oatmeal for two, watching a sunset, sitting in silence - being together. So, just when you are moving along quite nicely - BAM, there you are crying in the car.

A comfort is that Tom did not live to see the mess that our country finds itself in - what chaos - what greed hath wrought.

So, here I am living in the moment.

Rain and More Rain

I had a picture and a particular post in mind for tonight but blogger has not allowed me to upload photos all afternoon and evening. So, here are Sunday night ramblings. It has been a very rainy weekend in St. Paul. I love it. Having grown up on the west coast of the USA - rain is a dear reminder of winter days playing inside all warm and cozy and then running outside in slickers and rubber boots to splash in puddles. Besides my personal predilection for rainy afternoons - the weekend's precipitation has been a gift. It has been a very dry summer and we truly need the rain.

Last night I had a party here for 30 people to celebrate my dear sister-friend V's birthday. She lives next door and we look out for one another. It was a lovely party - the most important thing being V was just thrilled. We had lots of yummy food and the biggest and most scrumptious carrot cake with cream cheese icing. Everything was a hit.

Life is moving fast for me right now - too fast for my taste. I have grown accustomed to a much quieter life. I am grateful to have new opportunities to meet people, be of service to others, and pursue new interests. I just need to be mindful of not over-committing myself.

The week ahead will usher in even more of Autumn's days. Those delicious mornings, cool and crisp and tinged with the smell of crimson and gold. Oh how I love putting on a little sweater in the mornings - knowing I will be in shirt sleeves or a tee shirt by noon.

The seasons change - the wheel turns. Om Shanti

Inner Peace

I have been attending the Unitarian Church this summer. I find it inspirational and important to my new life. One of the things I value about Unity Unitarian is the amazing music, the poetry, and other readings; they help to create context and provide focus and food for personal reflection and growth.

Two weeks ago, I attended the first in a series of three classes to explore joining the congregation. Justin, who is the church staff person leading the workshop, began our session with this poem:

The Art of Disappearing

When they say Don't I know you?
say no.

When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

- Naomi Shihab Nye

My dear friend and mentor, M is dying with a tumor growing in his brain. He is only 64 years old and one of the more brilliant people on the planet. I spent time with him this week - sitting and talking and listening and honoring his journey - one he is approaching with curiosity, with acceptance and regret that he will leave his family and friends behind at this precious stage of our lives.

"Know you could tumble at any second - then decide what to do with your time."

Today is Friday - have a wonderful day - we choose our lives moment to moment.

Today

September 9th is the anniversary of the day Tom and I were married.

This morning, I went to Fort Snelling National Military Cemetery. And tonight - looking back to my blog post last year and how far I have come on this journey.

Oh My Darling - Forever in my heart.

Still on the Planet

I have been really crazed between work and getting one of the duplex units ready to rent after some tenants who left the unit not as clean as it needed to be. I have a really cool new client - it is an Art Museum - how fun!!!! Getting around in the Twin Cities these days is just difficult, which adds to my current busyness. I promise I will have a long post with photos soon.