Monday, September 06, 2010

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Yes - that is how my life feels right now - from my professional life to the deepest recesses of my personal journey.  Laughter is abundant in my world today.

I wrote in this blog that sorrow stripped me bare and left me by the side of the road - abandoned by all I held dear.  During those years of scalding tears; those years of deep longing for that which would never return, I wondered if the laughter had died with you know who.  At some point, in the journey, I picked up my scarred and scattered bones - gently held together the gaping, ragged edges of grief-hewn wounds and slowly began to grow new muscle, sinew and skin - the softest skin imaginable now covers an indomitable spirit and the will to live and grow and celebrate each day that is left.

I took my passion and turned it into work.  I hand-forged a new life for one - me.  Slowly I began to find enjoyment.  I embraced my cherished friends and family of choice.  I took care of family and honored my duty to my mother.  I counted myself blessed to do the work I am called to do.  And thus, a new life slowly emerged and I began to embrace each new day.

And yet, there remained an empty reservoir - hidden deep inside.  It is a deeply personal place that feels best when filled with laughter, kisses, hugs, passionate embrace and long slow times of talking, walking, and sitting in companionable silence.  A strong and gentle blue-eyed man - with an amazing laugh, a tender touch, and a passionate soul has arrived in my life.  It has been the reawakening of the woman I thought was lost. Not lost but standing here - the woman who was transformed in the fiery cauldron of grief.

Laughter abounds in my life.  Passion surrounds me.   All I can say is Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.


  1. you have corresponded with me when i have been at my lowest points. you have known how i feel so i am very happy that the sun is shining on you again. you deserve "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy." i keep you in my daily thoughts and prayers. thank you for seeing me. i want only the best for you.

  2. What a beautiful post. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I have read your blog for a long time and am so happy that you are happy.

    Peace and Joy to you!

  3. Wonderful. Wonderful. I have this vision in my mind of Snoopy ... you know when he was happy and Schultz drew him with his feet tapping?

    It lifts my heart to read this post,
    Boo xxx

  4. laughter can feel almost magical in the way it is uplifting and healing; in the way it creates new space and opens closed doors. wow - i need to be sure i do more of that myself! :))

  5. Suzann, I might did tell you about my Mothers Cousin, Marie in Postland, who as well as you was suddenly a widow too early and she was about to give up:
    But, she told me: All my friends and relatives said I meant so much for them - in fact very important in their lifes...
    She passed away in the age of 99.

    You are the very same sort of person - I've learned that fact after my short and unforgetable visit when Joan and Steve as well were your honored guests. And I learned it when you gave the Garden Party.

    I'm really happy for you now and both Anna and me are really looking forward to meet you all again in July 2011.