I have been on an organizing binge - over the holiday break, I did the office - every drawer, every file folder. This month I have done the pantry, closets, drawers, linen cabinet - whew. I have purchased dozens of large clear rectangular containers with snap on lids and have labeled everything. I love that labeler. There is something very satisfying about opening the closet and seeing that level of orderliness.
Many of the closets I have organized still had Tom's personal things on shelves or in drawers. Many memories - but not those heart stopping emotions - defintely an abiding sense of gratitude for our life and our love.
It feels wonderful to have everything so tidy. To be able to put my hands on anything I want or need in the house. Ahhhhhh - to have your insides and outsides congruent. The chaos of the last two years is subsiding - the acceptance of the now is growing.
Must be the weather--I'm organizing office and home, too. I know how hard it must be to keep running into Tom's things routinely and yet, as you see, you largely are feeling a sense of gratitude for the life and love you had. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteyou must be so proud of the growth you have made when you read back over this journal and see the transition it portrays...watching yourself move into different space, still holding the tender heart, but living fully again. you are an amazing woman, and i admire you very much. :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean Suzann. There's something comforting about being organized. When everything has a place and is easily accessible it just makes our lives flow a little better...sometimes a lot better. I've had days like you're having....and I always feel so good when I'm done.
ReplyDeleteWhat a metaphor, Suzann...and as always, your feelings so beautuful put into words.
ReplyDeleteI need to do what you have been doing, but...well, I don't think it is going to happen...lol!