In my grief journey I have moved to a new seat in the auditorium. I can honestly say that I have integrated so much of the intense pain and suffering - I am not whole - I will never be whole in that way I once was. But I am here - standing on my feet - knowing that I am able to reach out to others and pay it forward. Coming to the understanding that IT will NEVER be OVER is a huge milestone.
As I write this tonight I am feeling a little blue - missing you know who and yet strangely content in the midst of my sadness.
Each year, I set my Intentions for the year ahead. I put those intentions on a huge flip chart paper and post it on my studio door where I see it many times every day. I save those pages from year to year. In 2005 (just two months after Tom died) the primary Intentions on my sheet were:
- Drink Water
- Get Sleep
My intentions for this year (2009) are:
What a difference. For the most part I have incorporated those elements into my life this year. Now, I am thinking about my 2010 Intentions. That is my task for the next few days - I have written a draft - it is a work in progress.
2009 was a difficult year for so many in our country and around the world. I hope the year ahead holds greater peace and prosperity. Reflections............and holding those in pain close in my heart during this time of reflection and sadness.