Sunday, December 27, 2009

Year End Reflections

Yes, this is the time when many of us reflect on the year that is closing.  On balance it has been a year of learning and growing.  In my work life, it is my "shelter period" as I spent seven months as the Interim Executive Director of the battered women's shelter and now have begun a tenure as the Interim Exec at a family homeless shelter.  Very easy to count one's blessings when you are surrounded by so much need every single day. 

In my grief journey I have moved to a new seat in the auditorium.  I can honestly say that I have integrated so much of the intense pain and suffering - I am not whole - I will never be whole in that way I once was.  But I am here - standing on my feet - knowing that I am able to reach out to others and pay it forward.   Coming to the understanding that IT will NEVER be OVER is a huge milestone. 

As I write this tonight I am feeling a little blue - missing you know who and yet strangely content in the midst of my sadness. 

Each year, I set my Intentions for the year ahead.  I put those intentions on a huge flip chart paper and post it on my studio door where I see it many times every day.   I save those pages from year to year.  In 2005 (just two months after Tom died) the primary Intentions on my sheet were:

- Breathe
- Drink Water
- Get Sleep

My intentions for this year (2009) are:

What a difference.  For the most part I have incorporated those elements into my life this year.  Now, I am thinking about my 2010 Intentions.  That is my task for the next few days - I have written a draft - it is a work in progress.

2009 was a difficult year for so many in our country and around the world.  I hope the year ahead holds greater peace and prosperity.  Reflections............and holding those in pain close in my heart during this time of reflection and sadness. 


  1. what a great idea ... and what progress you have made, my sweet friend <3

    You have given me hope as well as reassurance, as I lay here unable to sleep YET AGAIN.

    I survived on cereal for 2 days, so am forcing a canelloni down my throat in the hope it will make me feel sleepy!!!

    My point is: your nutrition note. Cliff always made sure that was covered and made sure I ate properly ... I need to do that now.

    I esp loved the last point - enjoy your life, and that is exactly what I wish for you in 2010.

    Are you contemplating attending the widowhood conf. in San Diego in August?

  2. I haven't put together my goals for the new year but do plan to do that. I hope before we go to Sunriver. Happy New Year, Suzann, I hope the year ahead will bring you much joy and satisfaction.