Tuesday, October 30, 2007
On November 14th - the third anniversary of Tom's death - I will be facilitating a Board of Directors' special meeting in Minneapolis. The majority of board members are elected officials and that was the ONLY day they were available in the month of November.
Soooooo - my business partner and I will be there and do our work. Last year, I would not have been able to show up and do anything on November 14 - no matter the client.
The grief journey is a bit like being dropped into mental illness. At times you believe you will never survive; at times you do not want to do so.
Yet, through all the pain - you do survive. For a long time, you wait for "it" to be over. One day you realize, "it" will never be over. "It" becomes a missing piece; a hole in your life; a hole in your heart; a longing in your soul.
Gradually, you climb from the dark pit. You pull yourself from the dismal hole of sorrow and bereavement. Then there comes a day, the first flash of acceptance - you awake to realize that you have taken a giant step into the future. "I am alive." That first realization is stunning. And then you take another step forward.
After all, it is the living that have momentum. That have dreams. Hopes. A future.
Forever, I will miss my husband. This week, I have moments that bring me to my knees. This year, I acknowledge, "I am alive."