Thursday, July 07, 2005

Take a Vacation from Your Problems

A few glorious days to myself. A real downside to being a business owner is actually taking vacation time and not going anywhere. I am home in my newly remodeled house. Just soaking in some quiet, reflective time alone.

I had lunch with Ann yesterday. I find such comfort and guidance with women who have gone before me on the widow's walk. This strange journey truly needs pathfinders to assure you that you have not lost your mind completely, just misplaced it for awhile.

Having been stripped of all the skin from my body this winter, I feel it growing back - but oh so slowly. My being is tissue paper thin and I never know when something will pierce me with such suddeness that I am breathless. Little defense right now from pain; yet I am growing stronger.

The absolute craziness of this time transcends all previous experiences. I can sense the future at hand - I know that a day will come that I will be scarred but whole - a different person. My purpose is to make meaning of the past few months and live in this ocean of ambiguity.

Goddess give me strength as I watch all the weeping shadows on the wall.

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