Tomorrow - the anniversary of the day Tom and I married. Tom loved our wedding date - when we set it he said, "nine, nine" how can I ever forget. I think he was talking about more than the date. :-)
We reveled in our nine, nine, ninety-nine celebration without a thought that one of us might not be here for the next set of "9's".
Last night I laid in my bed and longed for my husband - I know, I know in the deepest part of me, I know he is gone from this earth - yet I just want to hold him and be held in his arms one more time.
I have walked this path of grief, of pain, of healing, of coming to my own terms of the loss of the love of my life. The days of wild-eyed wailing are over. And yet, last night I hugged the pillow and cried - not the gut wrenching sobs of the past - but the tears born of the ache I will always have for HIM - my man, my companion, my friend, my teacher, my love. Remembering.