Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Nine Nine O Nine

Tomorrow - the anniversary of the day Tom and I married. Tom loved our wedding date - when we set it he said, "nine, nine" how can I ever forget. I think he was talking about more than the date. :-)

We reveled in our nine, nine, ninety-nine celebration without a thought that one of us might not be here for the next set of "9's".

Last night I laid in my bed and longed for my husband - I know, I know in the deepest part of me, I know he is gone from this earth - yet I just want to hold him and be held in his arms one more time.

I have walked this path of grief, of pain, of healing, of coming to my own terms of the loss of the love of my life. The days of wild-eyed wailing are over. And yet, last night I hugged the pillow and cried - not the gut wrenching sobs of the past - but the tears born of the ache I will always have for HIM - my man, my companion, my friend, my teacher, my love. Remembering.


  1. Holding you close in my heart, knowing the pain all too well.

  2. Always in my heart...and in my thoughts Suzann....Love, Joy

  3. That I would come here today...WOW! I so understand Suzann...Truly. I unerstand in ways that you may not even believe I understand. But I do, my dear..I truly do.

  4. Seems always, sometimes with specific reminders, other times unexpectedly, remembrance of a loved one comes forth.