The past two months have been amazing. Hurtful at times and joyful at times - isn't that life as it is? I have reorganized my house - rearranged the living room furniture - packed all the guy's things that had accumulated over the past two years - organized my studio for easier writing, painting, collage, and other creative endeavors and just plain tried to redesign my life for the road ahead.
Two weeks ago I went on a solitary, spiritual retreat in a rural retreat center northwest of the Twin Cities. I was there Wednesday through Sunday - silent and solitary in a small hermitage in the middle of a great pine forest. It was transformative. I slept, I ate, I walked in the woods, I read, I drew, I walked in the rain, I wrote, I reflected on my life in the present. It was transformative - oh wait, I said that already. But it was.
I came home with a peaceful center in my heart. I came home with love in my heart. I came home in gratitude for all my blessings and blessed I am. I came home with a new idea for my future........
I am thinking about making some rather large changes in my life in the next 18 months. Not retirement - that sounds yucky - but refinement. Taking more time to do what I want! Being able to give more of my time and only working for pay a few months a year. A very big change is definitely on the horizon. I am excited - I always thought I would work until 70 at least - I am young, strong, healthy and do enjoy what I do for a living and now something else shows itself on the horizon.
A refined life - what does that mean??? It means having time to wake up and do nothing. It means giving of my time to causes I care about - including (especially) The Grief Project. It means taking a daytime yoga class - walking in the woods - writing, disciplined writing. Or it means doing nothing, if that's what strikes my fancy.
I means the biggest transformation in my life since Tom died. Whenever I think about it I am filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation (and a tinge of fear too) - I am preparing to step out into the next great adventure of my life. Another Journey to a New Life. There is much more to come...................
