Sunday, May 15, 2011

Leading with My Heart

I don't often write about the guy - he is very special to me. I have been struggling inside - where is this relationship headed? What does this mean - are we two single people hanging out until the next step comes along in life? Are we two single people standing together seeing if we can become a couple - in it for the long haul? What does the future hold?

We have very similar values in most areas of our lives. We both come from a very liberal perspective about the world. We walk and talk. We hold hands and hug. We laugh - oh, how we laugh. We love to snuggle and stay in bed on Sunday morning with coffee and the newspaper. We smooch. We watch movies in bed with popcorn and red wine. We dog walk and talk about the future. Things that both of us love - gardens, canning, flowers, growing tomatoes and green beans, fresh baked bread and cottages.

We generally do not see one another during the week due to work but we talk on the phone and text many, many times each day.

We have now been seeing one another for 9 months. At times, I feel like I run forward and then run back. I want to have a future that includes him and then I am unsure of it all - including how he feels and how I feel.

Here in the burgeoning springtime with my birthday just ahead - this morning I finally asked - "are we 2 single people hanging out or are we 2 single people being here to see if there is a committed couple emerging from this relationship."

We are stepping forward to see what commitment the next months bring - leading with one's heart is so frightening - leading with one's heart takes courage - leading with one's heart means you are true to yourself - I am glad I led with my heart this morning. Namaste.


  1. Dear Suzann,
    by some reasons it seems your regular readers are reluctant to comment on your imperative questions.

    Let me quote a former collegue of mine (We worked together for about 10 years - may years ago):
    "Tor, I'm close to 62 and will retire at that date and move back to the city I'm born and live with the new Man in my life. We have no time to miss living happily rest of our life: We must have a bright future, not thinking about a bright past."

    I think she has done the right choice.
    And I think you will have a brighter life living together with a man sharing so many of the same values.
    Well, we are not in the best age to be formed into new habits any longer, but that's as well is both interesting inspirational. At the same time, in our age, we can also respect some differences and use it to have some times to be alone and do what we can't do together.
    Like Anna and me: I blog while she watch TV and doing X-Words. We do not discuss what TV-Channel to watch. When we see movies together (on TV) we most often agree to watch TCM;-)
    The other Evening we watched Bob Dylan and yesterday Monty Pyton, documenteries, Great it was.

    btw. We are really looking forward to meet you and yours primo July.

    Tor and Anna

  2. You continue to move healthily forward with your life. Reads like you're giving thoughtful consideration and pertinent questioning to future planning as you travel your road. I often wonder if instances of the unexpected tears eventually cease in the years ahead. Somehow, I think not, but we probably should be comfortable with that likelihood as I am.