Sunday, May 15, 2011
Leading with My Heart
I don't often write about the guy - he is very special to me. I have been struggling inside - where is this relationship headed? What does this mean - are we two single people hanging out until the next step comes along in life? Are we two single people standing together seeing if we can become a couple - in it for the long haul? What does the future hold?
We have very similar values in most areas of our lives. We both come from a very liberal perspective about the world. We walk and talk. We hold hands and hug. We laugh - oh, how we laugh. We love to snuggle and stay in bed on Sunday morning with coffee and the newspaper. We smooch. We watch movies in bed with popcorn and red wine. We dog walk and talk about the future. Things that both of us love - gardens, canning, flowers, growing tomatoes and green beans, fresh baked bread and cottages.
We generally do not see one another during the week due to work but we talk on the phone and text many, many times each day.
We have now been seeing one another for 9 months. At times, I feel like I run forward and then run back. I want to have a future that includes him and then I am unsure of it all - including how he feels and how I feel.
Here in the burgeoning springtime with my birthday just ahead - this morning I finally asked - "are we 2 single people hanging out or are we 2 single people being here to see if there is a committed couple emerging from this relationship."
We are stepping forward to see what commitment the next months bring - leading with one's heart is so frightening - leading with one's heart takes courage - leading with one's heart means you are true to yourself - I am glad I led with my heart this morning. Namaste.