Thursday, February 17, 2011

Walking the Widow Road

The fiery widowed road is beyond the understanding of anyone who has not been forced to tread its path of pain and sorrow. In the early parts of the journey, there are days that death seems preferable to continuing to arise and face another morning.

Slowly oh so slowly - we heal - slowly oh so slowly - we create a new life. In my early widow years it was inconceivable that life could EVER be joyful again.

Slowly oh so slowly - we put one foot in front of the other on the devastating widowed road. There comes the day we first smile and immediately feel guilty - "he is dead", what is wrong with me?!

There are days we feel we can face life with some optimism and ten minutes later we fall into the deep, black hole of tears and hopelessness. Somehow, we manage to dig ourselves out of the ravages (over and over) to face another day.

One day at a time - one foot in front of the other - the beat goes on - somehow.

The journey brings many lessons, real lessons, not words - they have become the values that guide my life.

Love is all that matters.
We have nothing but this moment in which we stand
Material things are transitory at best
Take no person for granted
Never leave those you love in anger
A person can withstand more pain than one ever imagined
True friends stand with you - no matter what!
Kindness and time are the greatest gifts we can give

Now in my seventh year of widowhood (six years in November) I have found a companion. A man who has walked his own widowed road. Slowly oh so slowly we are developing a deep, deep care for one another. Slowly oh so slowly I am opening my heart to the possibilities. Slowly oh so slowly I am coming to the place that I can say from very deep in my heart and soul - how I feel. Stay tuned for more......


  1. Dear Suzann,
    you know I love and respect you for your honesty regarding loss of your dearest and the way you communicate your feelings.
    That's the reason why we met at first hand, and why we will meet again.
    With old friends of you and a person I think will make you both happy again. Which the both of you really deserves.
    To my B D party this year, I have invited, a.o., my late Son's "brother in blood" and his wife. They both think it's a great way to celeb my 66 when Ruben is not here, but very vivid in our minds. They will as well stay in our Summer House (from where they have very good memories), when we meet you this Summer.

    I'm really happy you have come to the top of the Stairway, and looks forward to a great future and at the same time keep in mind fantastic memories.

    hugs from across miles and ocean

  2. our vulnerable selves can be so very careful. i am happy to hear you are breaking through whatever challenges may exist along the road to finding joy and love. enjoy every loving moment. what we do know is that nothing is permanent, a fact which makes every joyous moment we share more meaningful. sending love and a heart filled with wishes for your spring to be a beautifully shared time.