Busy, busy, busy

My friend V is arriving from Seattle tomorrow night for a little visit. Wow, I actually have a life. :) I will post some pictures tomorrow - he will be here until Sunday. More to come.

Home!

Yes, I am. I had a wonderful time. No internet access, no blogs, no email! Yikes. I survived. Lots of pictures to come.

MMMMMMMMM Summer

Lots of tomatoes from my little garden - big, fat heirloom tomatoes, golden, coral, red, and green. I am in love - olive oil, sea salt, and fresh basil. This is what summer is all about.

The Darlings

Here are O and E, two of my three beautiful grands. They are spending the summer on the Jersey shore and i am on my way to see them next Wednesday. I have not seen them since October 2005, which is the longest I have gone without seeing my kids and grandkids ever. I am very excited to see them and their parents!

It seems terrible to say that it has been that long since I have visited. It is really difficult to take care of an aging parent on the West Coast, work full time, and travel anywhere east of the Mississippi. Last night, while talking to my DIL, I realized that I have not gone anywhere but to my mother's since the last time I was in Philadelphia to see my son and family. Wow!

The good news is that my mother is doing better, her health has stabilized. We sold the second house when I was home in May, which removed a great deal of stress from her life. Other friends from the City now are helping by coming up every month to visit and do chores. Mom also has met a new woman friend who is in her seventies and drives. She has been taking Mother lots of places and they really enjoy one another's company. Overall, Mother is less isolated. Thank goodness.

So, I am off to the East Coast. I will be in Longport, NJ, which is nearby Atlantic City. I do not know if I will have an internet connection while I am there but I will take tons of pictures.

It is a rainy Saturday in St. Paul - I hope you have a wonderful day.

Cat Training 1.2

Don't ask!

I love my garden window. I have always kept plants, beloved crystal pieces, small pictures and other things I love to look at in that window. It is a nice focal point in my kitchen.

Donnie, the cat, just loves to jump on things - everything as a matter of fact. He jumps up in there and knocks things down. I have tried putting sticky double sided carpet tape in the window to discourage the behavior - now I am trying my version of "crime scene" tape. Let's see if it makes a difference. Whew, cat training is tough work.

All cat-training ideas would be most appreciated.

Any suggestions????????????

One Thousand Days, Today.....

that I have walked this widowed road. Two weeks ago, Tom came as a pure golden light to say to me, ".... now you must throw off the veil of death, it is time for you to live your transformed life. Our souls will always dance."

LOVE IS AT THE HEART OF ETERNITY.

Visit with the Soul Reader Part 1

The Soul Reader, who I will call Spirit Woman, greeted me at her really ordinary front door (except that the large gardens on both sides of her door are entirely ringed with hundreds of big chunks of rose quartz) and escorted me to an upstairs room painted purple and filled with crystals, sculpture and other art. The second I walked into that room, I had an overwhelming impulse to remove my shoes and socks. (I did not do so at that time nor did I mention it to her upon my arrival.)

I told her my husband had died in 2004 and I was feeling lighter now. She told me that she would do the work in connecting with my spirit and then we would talk. Spirit Woman also said that she might ask me to do some things/exercises if she thought they could help me to move forward depending what she "saw." She told me I did not have to do anything - just relax and that she wanted me to be totally comfortable with everything.

After sitting in silence while she gazed at me for a few minutes, she wrote some things on a piece of paper and then cleared her throat and said,

"You have been living a parallel life - it is the life of plans, hopes and dreams, the life that you envisioned with Tom. As long as you are living that parallel life, you will not be able to live into the life that is trying to emerge.

Secondly, just as you are living a parallel life, you have a shadow self that is living that life. Your transformed self and transformed life cannot emerge if you hold on to the old life."

She asked me to do two exercises - the first was to honor my old life and the hopes and dreams and to let go of that life and to LET GO OF TOM. She was talking and asking me to repeat these things after her ---- I was fine until she asked me to let go of Tom and that was soooooo difficult. I was not going to say it if I could not envision it and mean it. I finally was able to do so.

Next, she asked that I love, honor, thank and let go of my shadow self. To let go and invite my new self to emerge and begin to fully live. After this exercise, I removed my shoes and socks for the balance of our time together.

I spent over an hour and a half with Spirit Woman so this is really a brief recounting of the experience up to this point. After the second mantra and release was finished - she leaned forward with a very serious look on her face and said, "OK are you ready to continue?" For a minute I had an "OMG - what is about to happen" feeling. The she said, "in a few seconds after I connected with your soul, Tom immediately came into the room and he has been here the entire time." I asked, "where is he?" "Behind you just over your left shoulder." And then she began to speak......

"Tom is a pure spirit - he is pure light - sometimes spirits are still carrying little wisps of their body because they have not completely made the transition. That is not so with Tom - he is pure golden light, very beautiful."

I am going to stop here - I have been wanting to share this but it is intense and I need to do this in a couple of installments. It was one of the most incredible, loving, powerful, and transforming experiences. I had no idea that this would happen when I went to see her. I did not even know if that is what she did - but oh, she is a gifted medium. I am blessed. There is more to come in the next day or so.

Life Changes in an Instant

Just wanted to check in to say that I am fine - the tragedy of the bridge collapse is unfolding around us. So far, everyone I know is safe. Many of the my friends, including my sister/neighbor V, use that bridge daily. Thanks for those of you who have emailed and posted to ask.

Life is a mystery.

The Soul Reader

On Friday afternoon, I met with a woman who calls herself a "soul reader." I connected with her through friends who also had met with her. I had no idea what might happen when I arrived at S's quite ordinary home in St. Paul. She is a lovely young woman - married with children - white carpets in her livingroom. We met in an upstairs room, painted a lovely shade of purple, filled with beautiful crystals, statues, artwork.

I have never done anything approaching this before. The closest being, for several years I met with an astrologer at the beginning of each year and she would "read" my astrological chart. Yesterday, I spent 2-1/2 hours with the soul reader. She is a gifted clairvoyant and medium. It was a transformative experience.

She "knew" things about me and asked about things that she would have no idea about, even "guessing" - I am still trying to reflect on and process the entire experience. More to come.....

The Sacred Pain of Grief

I have been working on a new initiative - it has been my passion now for most of 2007. It is called The Grief Project. Our consulting group is funding the project. It is a national, multi-media, oral history project that will produce a book, an audio CD, and ultimately a documentary DVD. The website is just about ready to launch, we are now searching for a designer who will donate a logo to the project.

The concept is to travel across the country and interview (along with audio and video tape) those who have lost a spouse, life partner or significant other. It's mission is to provide support and solace for those who have yet to walk the widowed road. It also will honor the stories of those who grieve and the memories of their lost loved ones.

There is much, much more to tell but that is all for tonight. I will give more details in a few days.

Good Morning

What a beautiful Saturday - I have had a terrific week. Rest, relaxation, working in the garden, catching up with my blog buddies and other reading, having lunch with my friend L and going to the gym. I am off to do my work-out and purchase food for a gathering I am hosting tomorrow. I will sit down for a longer post later tonight. I just wanted to say Happy Saturday - I am filled with gratitude for my life's blessings.

I am still alive

The time is flying - it has been more than a week since I posted. In June, I began a rigorous workout regime. I am really doing well - being consistent, which is the key to success. My regular blog buddies know - I stopped smoking in April 2006. Yippee for me!

As a result of the Quit, I have had some weight gain - I have not worried about it as it is MUCH more important to not smoke than to have some extra poundage. I have done really well on the quit and do not think about smoking at all anymore (except to congratulate myself on doing it!!!). Now is the time to tackle the next step of the process.

Now, I could go on a "diet" - I am really good at doing that and losing when I put my mind to it. However, I do not think that is a good thing at this stage of my life. It is time to build muscle, work on functional fitness and make good food choices based on hunger, NOT on emotional or other needs. So, here I am going to the Gym really consistently - I like my personal trainer and she has me on a good program. This week I will increase the weight of each of my exercises. Yesterday, I had a massage for the first time in 6 weeks and D (my longtime masseuse) said she could feel the difference in my body. Hooray, just the beginning but the beginning of the next part of the journey.

On the days I do not go to the Gym, I work out at home on a combination of my treadmill and elliptical trainer. I bought a heart rate monitor and I highly recommend it as a great fitness tool. Now I know how hard I need to work to keep my heart rate in the zone for good fat removal and heart health. It turns out I wasn't getting the maximum benefit of my workout (my time) by not really monitoring my heart rate. Oh, forget those "heart rate sensors" on the machines, they are so far from being accurate as to be a joke.

So, being really busy at work, carving out the time to get this fitness program firmly established in my routine and taking care of my new buddy, Donny-cat - I have not had the time to be a good blogger.

I am on vacation this week and will catch up and do some posting. If you remember, early in the year I mentioned that I have an exciting new project that is being launched this year. Well, I am ready to blog about it. I will tell you all about it in the next couple of days.

Today is a gorgeous summer day in St. Paul - I am just hanging at home, working in the garden, watering and reveling in my home, my solitude, my blessings and my life. I hope your day is wonderful as well.

A New Addition

Here is the newest addition to my family. I got him from the Humane Society last Thursday. He is 1.5 years old and his name is Donny. I just love him - he is fun and cuddly. I just decided that I needed a companion in my daily life. It was so nice to come home Friday night and have someone here who was excited to see me

The recovery from the oral surgery took some time - the stitches are finally dissolved and I am feeling much better. Thanks for your kind thoughts. I will be online again now and catching up with all of you soon. :)

Better

.......here on Saturday night. Still sore but healing. Wow, what an ordeal. The good news is that they could pull the roots AND sink the screws in my upper jaw for the implants all in one procedure. The worst is over. The oral surgeon is really good - he even called my house at 9 pm on Thursday night to check on me.

It has been a quiet weekend of soup, carrot juice, kefir and some pain meds. I picked up the house, have been reading and watching some movies. Just taking it easy. It is a beautiful weekend and I am hoping to feel up to getting outside tomorrow. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

Teeth - Ugh

I am having oral surgery tomorrow to remove the remains of a tooth and have two sites prepped for implants. It is an old bridge that went bad on the left side - so without the implants I will have a noticeable gap in my smile.

Yucky, I am such a chicken about the dentist. Just nothing but a scardy-cat.

I am going to be knocked out - or at least have some sort of "twilight sleep" for the 3 hour procedure. The procedure begins at 1:40 pm - our office manager is taking me and then will return to take me home. I am sure I will be woozy tomorrow night and not just from writing the check to pay for it. :)

I will let you know how it goes.