Thursday, June 30, 2011

Paraphrase of Walt Whitman by my friend: Louis Alemayehu

I have heard what the talkers were talking,
The talk of the beginning
and the end.
But I do not talk of the beginning
or the end.
There was never anymore beginning
than there are now,
Nor any more youth or age
than there is now,
And never be any more perfection
than there is now,
Nor any more heaven or hell
than there is now.
Clear and sweet is my soul,
And clear and sweet is all that is not my soul.
I welcome every organ and attribute of me
Not an inch,
Not a particle of an inch is vile to me.
I am satisfied –
I see, I dance, I laugh, I sing!
I will go to the bank of the river in the woods
And become undisguised and naked,
I am mad for it all to embrace me.
I am obsessed with the agony and ecstasy of this life!
It all amazes me!

Sunday, June 26, 2011


Here we are the day after my birthday - it is my 6th birthday without Tom here on the planet. On my 60th, my evil twin and dearest friend Lisa arrived at the party with a small box (the unmistakable jewelry box box) and said - Tom wanted me to give these to you. Inside: beautiful sapphire and diamond stud earrings. Thank you Lisa - thank you Tom.

One of the pleasures, privileges and a constant in my life before death was that Tom told me EVERYDAY that I was beautiful - it was such an honor and such an amazing thing to have that gift given from the heart.

Last night we went to dinner - the guy and me and my best friends - Joan and Steve. During dinner, Steve looked across the table and said (something like) - you don't look 65 - you look lovely and so youthful. Translate - "you look beautiful"

This afternoon I realized that those messages came straight from Tom's heart and from Steve's heart too. Thank you Tom for coming to visit last night through one of your best brother friends - thank you Steve for being my brother. Namaste.

Friday, June 24, 2011

On the Eve of another Birthday.....

This is the last day I will be 64 - how did that happen?

It just seems to sneak up on a person.

This is also my 640th blog post! June 18th was this blog's sixth anniversary. To borrow a phrase - "I've come along way, Baby" since this blog began. When I began this "journey to a new life" I had no idea how many amazing people it would bring into my life - I had no idea what a healing force it would be for me and for others. I am blessed to know each of you who visit here - thank you for enriching my life.

Today, I am reminded of a watercolor that hangs downstairs in my guest room. It has the following quote inked around the edges:

We never really grow old it seems, we keep in our hearts our fancies and dreams, and in a corner all tucked away is the child we all were yesterday.

This year of being 64 has been a very good year. It is the year that The Grief Project was born - a dream come true.

It is the year I learned to open my heart again and feel that unmistakable man/woman feeling that I thought was gone forever.

It is the year that my bestest friend J came to the Twin Cites and now we get to see one another all the time - blessings abound.

It has been a year of healing and growth - the year that I know for sure that I am blessed beyond all imagining. I am grateful for my work, my home, my health, my heart, my friends and family and for my resiliency.

Standing here on the brink of 65 is a pretty good place to stand.

I just took these photos with my computer to mark this day - the last day I will be 64. There is more to come.....

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Beginning of the End

And oh it makes me sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. I suppose once your heart is ripped out by its roots and once you have walked that pain-filled WidowRoad, how can anything hurt worse? It can't.

Yet, I stood in the shower this afternoon and wept.

It is not the sadness that hurts me. It is the loss of the potential of something very wonderful. I cannot settle and I cannot change anything or anyone but me.

So, I will just have to be sad.....I believe there is much more to come.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Life is Precious

This is a poem by an unknown author. I have come across it a few times, and today, when it ended up in my mailbox again, I thought it would be a good thing to share.


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are..

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you are a reason, a season or a lifetime.