Saturday, October 23, 2010

Meeting the Woman I Have Become

I am meeting my new self and I like her.  She was birthed along the twisted widowed road.  She can love again - she can give her heart.  She can live in the moment and when she gets ahead of herself - most times, she can come back to that centered place inside.  She can fling fear aside and step forward.  She can be here in the moment.  She can forgive herself and others.   I embrace her - she is the old me and more.  

This is not about love affairs.  Oh, I do adore this blue-eyed guy and his arrival has been a gift.   He has given me hugs, laughter, kisses and companionship.   Is there a little part of me that suspects he might be here for many seasons?  Yes - however, today is just fine.  And if that is not to be - so be it. My happiness is not dependent upon one person.

I have written much about the personal transformation brought about by my widowed journey.  How amazing it is to meet the new woman I have become and feel the transformation deep in my bones and in my spirit.

The next doors are opening - oh yes, my dear blog readers -  I am here. I am whole.  Strong, capable, creative, resilient.  I am meeting my new self.  I embrace this transformed woman - she is worth it.  Oh Sister Moon - Great Spirit - thank you.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Laughter and Love

My life is abundant with blessings.  My work is bearing fruit.  My relationship with this blue-eyed guy is amazing.  There is laughter in my life.  There is love in my life.  There is companionship.   What a joy to do life's simple things and have a friend and lover to do them with - cooking a meal, raking the leaves, walking the dog, making the bed.  Simple everyday things that are so precious to share with someone else.

I have laughed more in the last three months than I have laughed in the previous five years - real laughter - the kind that makes your stomach hurt.  Real joy.  Real sharing.  Real caring.

This relationship is easy.  We have many, many shared values.  We both have walked the widowed road and know some very deep and dark truths.  We spend time together and time apart.  We laugh together and we have cried together.  There is respect.  There is affection - oh those kisses!  So one small step at a time - here on the other side of a very long road - my feet on a new path.   My heart filled with gratitude and with wonder at what is happening in my life.  Namaste.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Building Community

My very best friend for more than 40 years just moved from Jacksonville, Florida to St. Paul.  She and her husband have rented a really cool pad across the street from the Farmer's Market, 3 blocks from my office and 2.5 miles from my house. 

We met one another in the 1960's in San Francisco and then again in the mountains of New Mexico.  We have seen one another through so many things - births, deaths, and rebirth.  We have not lived close to one another since 1980 when we shared an apartment with our two boys - one then a teen and the other a toddler.   Here we are again - both boys all grown with children of their own.  It is a joy and a blessing that we will have this time together - this incredibly precious time. 

We are looking forward to long afternoons of soup making, bread baking, book reading, soul know, the things women sister-friends do so well.  Blessings abound.