Sunday, October 22, 2006

The Tree Through the Seasons #3 and #4

These pictures were taken three weeks apart. The first and third photos were taken this morning. Autumn is waning - it is clear, sunny and cold in my backyard today. The perfect day to rake leaves and breathe the unmistakable end of season air.

I got home late Thursday night and am leaving today at 3:30 pm for Phoenix. I will be there until Thursday afternoon. This project is about done. I am ready to stop the travel and the stress. It has been an incredible project - one that continues to require the gamut of our professional skills and consistent leadership.

I am looking forward to getting my life back - doing my art again, my blog, and my journals. One wonderful thing. Through all this stress, I am still a nonsmoker - tomorrow will be six months since I quit and I just don't think about smoking anymore. Hooray for me and my good health.

Thank you my blog buddies for hanging in with me through this busy period of my life. You are all the best!!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

My Beating Heart

Saturday is twenty-three months since Tom died. My heart beats so ferociously at times. The sadness sneaks up on me without warning. I made my dinner tonight and when I put the food on the plate all I could think was how much he would have liked to eat that dinner. I went to the store after work tonight and on the way home just burst into tears, Crying in the car = the widda way of life. I miss my husband. I am vulnerable tonight. Just longing for his smile, his arms, his kisses, his laughter from the other room. Oh my sweet darling. Forever in my heart.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


That's right - our first snow today. Not much but enough that it was a little white-out for about 5 minutes. That is one of the interesting things about living in Minnesota - in this northern latitude, there is a diversity of weather. It changes so fast.

I was taking JSB home from the office. Windshield wipers shushing real snow off the window - incredibly windy with swirling icy snow and two blocks later, the sun was shining and the only traces of snow were rimes of ice on the edges of the grass.

The conference was amazing. The courage of groups of people to work together, to make really tough decisions, to respect one another's opinions, even when they disagree - an honor to be a part of supporting that delicate work. They did it - a new transformative vision.

I am on my way to Chicago on Sunday until Thursday - hard stuff ahead but the assignment will be over the end of the month. It appears that the organization will have a new lease on the future and a fighting chance to prosper - their mission so important.

This has been a very difficult assignment. It has called forth the highest aspiration and expertise of Dendros - it has touched me deeply and been exhausting. One thing is true, I am certainly moving to a new place on the widda road - I could not have done this a few months ago.

A lovely postscript, the hotel in which the retreat was held is nearby the cemetary. At the end of the three days, every though we were exhausted, JSB and I took the flower centerpiece to Tom's grave before we came home. Lovely autumn Mums. A fitting end to the weekend.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Today, I received a collage from a friend - the subject is the tree from my last post: "the sentinel in my backyard." I was really touched and have tried to upload it here many times but keep getting an error message so I cannot share it with you. I am blessed, gifts from friends, gifts from the Universe.

This weekend is the huge meeting of the board of our client for which we have been working since August. It will be a difficult meeting; it will be a transformational meeting. Hold my partner, JSB and I in your hearts this weekend. Hold the board in your thoughts as well - the future of their organization is on the line. They have the courage to lead. Namaste.